Who said we have the best health care system in the world? Was it Obama ? No, who would believe him anyway? Was it Hannity ? Yeah, maybe it was Hannity. Welcome to America, home of the greatest health care system in the world. Who is he kidding ? I happen to be sitting in the hospital with my mother. She is, as luck would have it, a recipient of this stellar health care that we are so privileged to enjoy. We started at the emergency room waiting area. I could not decide if the woman at the desk was an administrative assistant or a retired haunted house tour guide. Loads of personality were dripping off of this one. We enter the triage unit (aka The how are you gonna pay room). No worries, we have loads of insurance and medicare to boot. Hooray, we will be here until they run the gambit of known medical test.
We are now in an ER room. Immediately, they begin IV fluids. Why, I ask. I was told, "that's what we do". Here is why they do it. If the doctor orders two bags of fluids, and the nurse sets the drip on "as freaking slow as possible", they don't have to look at you for the first three hours. Perfect, all the rooms are now full of people getting fluids. The real emergencies can wait until the next shift. I'm sorry you have an ice pick in your labia. If you will have a seat, someone will be with you on Thursday. Our rooms are full of people with out insurance who are receiving their much needed 8 gallons of IV fluids. Now, my mother was sent here by her doctor. I wonder about the rest. One guy is here for a freaking toothache.
This the front line of our wonderful system. The term emergency is laughable. No one is here for an emergency. They are here for common ailments. Most can't pay, so the patients with insurance get loads of unneeded test to cover the bill. I am convinced of it. We have been here for 6 hours and have yet to see a doctor. Wait; here he comes. I suspect he finished somewhere in the middle of class in some "island" medical school. He is in 50's and working as a staff doc in the ER. That alone speaks volumes about his skill level. It will however, be nice to get some idea of what we can expect from the greatest system in the world. Happy day, we will be here for the next 72 hours. We will enjoy a CT scan with contrast, an EKG, a heart Cathe, a stress test, 900 blood test for every infectious disease known to man, a little oxygen, an upper GI series, and if there is still time, a nasal gastric tube will be inserted just to be safe. Dude, the woman had a little fall and hit her head. Her doctor sent her here to have the knot checked out. She is 80 for God's sake. "Must run test". Yeah, Yeah I know, "must run test".
I would define an emergency room as a place with a high sense of urgency. Not so much. The nurses, and trust me there are plenty, are piled around the desk enjoying what appears to be a birthday cake. It has a pot leaf on top; so obviously, Doc Marley is the man of the hour. I have been given a task. They have dear old Mom hooked to what looks like a wiring harness from the space shuttle. Every time she moves an alarm goes of to tell the staff that her heart has quit beating. The nurse said the machine is too sensitive, so I should just hit the reset button when it sounds. Now, understand, it goes off every 60 to 90 seconds. It emits an ear splitting screech that should send the staff into a code blue. Not here. I just reach up and turn it off every minute or so. This is standard operating procedure. I can tell this, because the alarms are going off in every room. No one blinks. If someone goes into cardiac arrest, they are toast. I may go to jail for turning off the machine. God knows it would have to be better than sitting here.
I apologize for the rant, but I had to vent. I am sure that the next 17 hours of treatment will be a lesson in the efficiency of our excellent system. Have a good evening.
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