What the Hell is Going On ?

Who said we have the best health care system in the world?  Was it Obama ?  No, who would believe him anyway?  Was it Hannity ?  Yeah, maybe it was Hannity.  Welcome to America, home of the greatest health care system in the world.  Who is he kidding ?  I happen to be sitting in the hospital with my mother.  She is, as luck would have it, a  recipient of this stellar health care that we are so privileged to enjoy.  We started at the emergency room waiting area.  I could not decide if the woman at the desk was an administrative assistant or a retired haunted house tour guide.  Loads of personality were dripping off of this one.  We enter the triage unit (aka The how are you gonna pay room).  No worries, we have loads of insurance and medicare to boot.  Hooray, we will be here until they run the gambit of known medical test.

We are now in an ER room.  Immediately, they begin IV fluids.  Why, I ask.  I was told, "that's what we do".  Here is why they do it.  If the doctor orders two bags of fluids, and the nurse sets the drip on "as freaking slow as possible", they don't have to look at you for the first three hours.  Perfect, all the rooms are now full of people getting fluids.  The real emergencies can wait until the next shift.  I'm sorry you have an ice pick in your labia.  If you will have a seat, someone will be with you on Thursday.  Our rooms are full of people with out insurance who are receiving their much needed 8 gallons of IV fluids.  Now, my mother was sent here by her doctor.  I wonder about the rest.  One guy is here for a freaking toothache.

This the front line of our wonderful system.  The term emergency is laughable.  No one is here for an emergency.  They are here for common ailments.  Most can't pay, so the patients with insurance get loads of unneeded test to cover the bill.  I am convinced of it.  We have been here for 6 hours and have yet to see a doctor.  Wait; here he comes.  I suspect he finished somewhere in the middle of class in some "island" medical school.  He is in 50's and working as a staff doc in the ER.  That alone speaks volumes about his skill level.  It will however, be nice to get some idea of what we can expect from the greatest system in the world.  Happy day, we will be here for the next 72 hours.  We will enjoy a CT scan with contrast,  an EKG, a heart Cathe, a stress test, 900 blood test for every infectious disease known to man, a little oxygen, an upper GI series, and if there is still time, a nasal gastric tube will be inserted just to be safe.  Dude, the woman had a little fall and hit her head.  Her doctor sent her here to have the knot checked out.  She is 80 for God's sake.  "Must run test".  Yeah, Yeah I know, "must run test".

I would define an emergency room as a place with a high sense of urgency.  Not so much.  The nurses, and trust me there are plenty, are piled around the desk enjoying what appears to be a birthday cake.  It has a pot leaf on top; so obviously, Doc Marley is the man of the hour.  I have been given a task.  They have dear old Mom hooked to what looks like a wiring harness from the space shuttle.  Every time she moves an alarm goes of to tell the staff that her heart has quit beating.  The nurse said the machine is too sensitive, so I should just hit the reset button when it sounds.  Now, understand, it goes off every 60 to 90 seconds.  It emits an ear splitting screech that should send the staff into a code blue.  Not here.  I just reach up and turn it off every minute or so.  This is standard operating procedure.  I can tell this, because the alarms are going off in every room.  No one blinks.  If someone goes into cardiac arrest, they are toast.  I may go to jail for turning off the machine.  God knows it would have to be better than sitting here.

I apologize for the rant, but I had to vent.  I am sure that the next 17 hours of treatment will be a lesson in the efficiency of our excellent system.  Have a good evening.

Atlanta Traffic

It is true.  The city of Atlanta has the worst traffic and drivers in the country.  I have lived in the great state of Georgia for 45 years and it never ceases to amaze me.  I have tried to disprove this unloyal statement, but I have to be honest.  The reason is multifaceted.  There is the never ending road construction, the fact that absolutely no sane person wants to live in the city, and the absolute lack of talent behind the wheel.  The delays are never clearly defined.  We wait for hours for no apparent purpose.  Try it.  Drive into Atlanta from either direction, and you will experience some sort of massive traffic jam.  I would like to share a conversation that I had with a co-worker last week.

 Is it a wreck ?  No.  Is it construction ?  Ummm no.  What is it ?  It appears to be 50,000 people stopped for no apparent reason.  Are you kidding me ?  I wish I were.  I can see it breaking up a couple of miles ahead, but I cannot tell you why that half of the states population is going .003 miles per hour.  Maybe there is a real good billboard up ahead that takes a minute to completely capture.  Maybe they are having a naming ceremony for a bridge or something.  Let me guess, Maynard Jackson or Dr. King.  Are we close to Hudson Bridge Road?  The people on the east side of Atlanta can't get out of their driveway without hitting everything but the daily double, and we gave them a highway of their own (I-675).  The fact that they can't use it without a daily fatality is comical at best.  Wait; I think it is breaking up.  I have nothing.  There is no wreck and no construction.  Just a minute, there is a guy leaning on a shovel.  He has three lanes shut down.  There is no sign giving notice.  It is rush hour, and this real man of genius is leaning on a garden utensil holding up the world.  That's it; I'm whipping his ass.  No no, stay in the car.  He has to work for the county in some fashion, and they hire the retarded.  Not by policy.  We elect the retarded, and they enjoy being around their peers.  Do they really hire the retarded ?  They don't start out that way.  They end up that way.  Maybe that guy with shovel is just standing there for the hell of it.  It is possible ?  He could be like those guys in town who wash windows or give directions for a dollar.  Are those folks homeless ?  No, they work for Fulton County.  They actually have a union.  You are full of shit.  They may as well have a union.  No one will do anything about it.  We are forced to be considerate of the chemically dependant.  The guy with the shovel could shut down I-75 just to beg for change, and there would be a reason why it isn't his fault.  This conversation has gotten awful political.  I thought we were talking about traffic.  We were, but it is all tied together.  The city and county goverments suck.  The city is the home of one of the greatest engineering schools in the country, and they can't figure out how to move traffic in and out.  Again, no one is staying. We drive into work, and spend all day wanting to get the hell out.  Put an exit at the Airport, Turner Field, Ga Tech, Phillips arena, and the capital. Then, close the rest.  Put 10 lanes north and 10 lanes south.  Set the speed limit at 85, and let it ride.  Let an outside contractor do the work.  This will eliminate the need for retarded people to take pay offs under the table.  Hopefully the project will be finished by the time the olympics come back to town.  It is bad.  Slow down; it is stopping again.  You have got to be freakin kidding me.  Nope, here we go again.  I would rather take an ass beating than to put up with this everyday.  I know what you mean.  Oh my God.  It is that same guy with the shovel.  No way.  I'm not shitting you; that's him.  It can't be.  Are you sayin that all retarded people look alike.  No, I'm just saying that....nevermind.  We have got to get off; I have to piss.  You just pissed 3 miles back.  I know, but that was two hours ago.  Don't remind me.  please don't remind me.