It is true. The city of Atlanta has the worst traffic and drivers in the country. I have lived in the great state of Georgia for 45 years and it never ceases to amaze me. I have tried to disprove this unloyal statement, but I have to be honest. The reason is multifaceted. There is the never ending road construction, the fact that absolutely no sane person wants to live in the city, and the absolute lack of talent behind the wheel. The delays are never clearly defined. We wait for hours for no apparent purpose. Try it. Drive into Atlanta from either direction, and you will experience some sort of massive traffic jam. I would like to share a conversation that I had with a co-worker last week.
Is it a wreck ? No. Is it construction ? Ummm no. What is it ? It appears to be 50,000 people stopped for no apparent reason. Are you kidding me ? I wish I were. I can see it breaking up a couple of miles ahead, but I cannot tell you why that half of the states population is going .003 miles per hour. Maybe there is a real good billboard up ahead that takes a minute to completely capture. Maybe they are having a naming ceremony for a bridge or something. Let me guess, Maynard Jackson or Dr. King. Are we close to Hudson Bridge Road? The people on the east side of Atlanta can't get out of their driveway without hitting everything but the daily double, and we gave them a highway of their own (I-675). The fact that they can't use it without a daily fatality is comical at best. Wait; I think it is breaking up. I have nothing. There is no wreck and no construction. Just a minute, there is a guy leaning on a shovel. He has three lanes shut down. There is no sign giving notice. It is rush hour, and this real man of genius is leaning on a garden utensil holding up the world. That's it; I'm whipping his ass. No no, stay in the car. He has to work for the county in some fashion, and they hire the retarded. Not by policy. We elect the retarded, and they enjoy being around their peers. Do they really hire the retarded ? They don't start out that way. They end up that way. Maybe that guy with shovel is just standing there for the hell of it. It is possible ? He could be like those guys in town who wash windows or give directions for a dollar. Are those folks homeless ? No, they work for Fulton County. They actually have a union. You are full of shit. They may as well have a union. No one will do anything about it. We are forced to be considerate of the chemically dependant. The guy with the shovel could shut down I-75 just to beg for change, and there would be a reason why it isn't his fault. This conversation has gotten awful political. I thought we were talking about traffic. We were, but it is all tied together. The city and county goverments suck. The city is the home of one of the greatest engineering schools in the country, and they can't figure out how to move traffic in and out. Again, no one is staying. We drive into work, and spend all day wanting to get the hell out. Put an exit at the Airport, Turner Field, Ga Tech, Phillips arena, and the capital. Then, close the rest. Put 10 lanes north and 10 lanes south. Set the speed limit at 85, and let it ride. Let an outside contractor do the work. This will eliminate the need for retarded people to take pay offs under the table. Hopefully the project will be finished by the time the olympics come back to town. It is bad. Slow down; it is stopping again. You have got to be freakin kidding me. Nope, here we go again. I would rather take an ass beating than to put up with this everyday. I know what you mean. Oh my God. It is that same guy with the shovel. No way. I'm not shitting you; that's him. It can't be. Are you sayin that all retarded people look alike. No, I'm just saying that....nevermind. We have got to get off; I have to piss. You just pissed 3 miles back. I know, but that was two hours ago. Don't remind me. please don't remind me.
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